things on demand

forget movies, y'all. I need EVERYTHING on demand, my favorite TV shows and even particular episodes. I need customized cable so I don't have to flip through CNBC and Turkish news broadcasts. This is not a matter solved with a mere Tivo, because basically I want not just one show recorded at a time, but synchronized broadcasting of multiple shows at the same time so as to feed my ADD. Por ejemplo: Bravo, you need to show West Wing 2.10 (aka Noel). AT THE SAME TIME, TBS, you need to show When Harry Met Sally, a movie I practically have memorized so I don't feel bad about missing most of it, but timed with Bravo's commercials so that I can watch the orgasm-in-the-deli scene and flip right back to WW, and THEN, also at the same time, VHI should have I LOVE THE 80's on so I can catch a quick segment of pop culture hilarity, also in between commercial breaks. You see how this works? A perfectly harmonized symphony of television rather than a mere episode placement that leaves about 20 minutes of boredom flipping to see what else is on, causing me to miss a crucial three minutes of an actual scene!

I'm...a little embarrassed to have thought about this so much. Clearly I need intellectual engagement at all times, or look what happens.

I will add though, that given a choice between an omniscient, invisible DJ programming a soundtrack that follows me and projects my mood like a movie score, and the TV programming symphony? The soundtrack wins, hands-down. And don't even play like you wouldn't be jealous.