go away, part 1-2

1. Teach for America. For the love of G-d, leave me alone. Stop emailing me, stop bombarding me with requests to meet with your recruiters, stop intruding on my classes- I know your spiel. I'm not doing your f-in program. If you really want to know, I have major issues with your program in general, and the fact that it's a stopgap measure that damages teacher morale and gives little in the way of long-term benefit to your kids or to the American school system at large. "Eliminate the achievement gap and effect long-term change," my ass. You've been around 15 years, and the achievement gap has grown exponentially, so how much of a difference ARE you making, exactly? But you don't have to answer any of those questions, you just have to back off, because you're barking up a tree so wrong it's not even a tree.

2. Gyms. My poor dad, he really excitedly asked me when we last spoke if I was doing anything "fun" like tennis or dance, and in this case fun also means "physically active," and I feel like I keep dangling this hope in front of him that I will become naturally active and athletic, and it has yet to materialize. But the topic at hand is really about gyms, and working out. I have nothing against being active in general, as long as there's some greater benefit to it- improving my skills at a particular game, or learning a style of dance, or whatever. Rotating on a machine for an hour? I cannot imagine a more futile activity. I've done it, oh yes, many a time. Yeah, endorphins, energy level, blah blah blah. I refuse to submit and put myself through some pointless motion that produces nothing. It's burning excess energy for its own sake. LAME. Really, screw you, fitness. And nature. You wanna give me a tummy? Whatever. Bring it on. I'll see your "inevitable decline" and raise you a "disdainful nonchalance," so bite me, cause I'm still gonna look good naked.