a task that I will valiantly attempt

I would never be so brazen as to attempt what Zach does so brilliantly on Veiled Conceit and write my own NYTimes Wedding Announcements mockage. Zach is a genius. As of late, unfortunately, he appears to be trapped under something heavy and unable to reach his keyboard and POST ALREADY, DAMMIT, I'm DYING over here! And this week's featured announcement was too good to go by unsatirized (I will cut you, Zach, if you think you get Christmas off too.)

In short: bride = black tennis-playing american civil rights lawyer. Groom = Afrikaner (South African of Dutch descent) son of apartheid-era diplomat, also a (human rights) lawyer. Nothing wrong with that per se, it's almost incredibly optimistic. But there's something...bizarre about the way their romance was described

"She likes to-MAY-to, and he likes to-MAH-to, in the South African style. And, of course, she is black. And he is white [in case you missed to PICTURE] In the South Africa of 15 years ago that would have been enough to call the whole thing off."

Is it...FUNNY that their individual differences pale in comparison to dehumanizing racial categories? Is it something you would make into a musical, like an Avenue Q ripoff- Everyone's A Lot Racist (back in the day but we've moved on now, thank you)? cuz...WTF?

Moving on to a different genre, the cliche romantic comedy of bumbling-guy-pursues-beautiful-woman, but too little too late- or is it?

Mr. Nel...went as far as the doorstep of her farewell party in Johannesburg before turning away. A week later he went to the airport to bid her a surprise farewell, only to find that she was ready to board her plane.
"I was desperately pleading, trying to use my power as a public representative to argue that there was a very important visitor I had to see"...but too late: Ms. Robinson had boarded, oblivious of his efforts.

Oooh, very smooth- Please, I'm a public official, here to make a grand romantic gesture. Very James Bond meets Love Actually. How sweet- oh. shit. you MISSED her? perhaps some other, less sweeping attempt to contact her. email. cell phone. Pedestrian, I know, and there's no beauracracy to bypass dashingly. But...Facebook? Maybe?

There's more, but, I will see if the professional sees fit to GET OFF HIS ASS and truly do this announcement justice.