wonkity wonkity #1: Ohio gubernatorial update

I just received an email from "Mike Coleman" announcing that he is dropping out of the gubernatorial race to be with his family and devote himself to his mayoral duties.

The interesting thing now is, first of all, consider whether there was pressure to consolidate the primary and get behind Strickland, and whether that pressure is coming from the Democratic party. If so, will there be any other candidates getting into the governor's race? Why are so many people getting behind Strickland when, frankly, a successful, popular black mayor of a city could get more support in what is essentially an urban and suburban election? Granted, Coleman's campaign failed to fulfill the potential of the candidate, and Strickland can check off certain boxes like "minister" and "NRA member" and "southern Ohio," but those signifiers do not necessaraly add up to a compelling candidate.

Also, if the party is trying to streamline the primary, especially given the events of last week with Jean Schmidt's gaffe in the House, is Hackett going to reconsider running for that House seat he lost so closely instead of going against Sherrod Brown?

Am I...

a terrible person because when I saw a woman with an especially saggy, jiggly, flat-cheeked yet wide butt in the airport, my thoughts were as follows?
"Dear G-d: after you are done helping us humans end hunger, war, violence, and greed, could the next item on your list of priorities be making sure that when fat starts to transfer to my ass (and I know it will, though I have been lucky so far) that is does so in a magically gravity-defying, J-Lo shelf-ass way instead of whatever that sister has goin on? Thank you."

random thought roundup

threads of things I've been thinking about for the past few days:

- So one of the things I did during this busy and fulfilling weekend was see the Tim Miller-Brandeis students workshop piece. I was really impressed, I though the pieces were really honest and touching, everyone had good presence and nice pacing on their monologues, and it reminded me of the good parts of my high school Ensemble experience. One thing I found very interesting was the fact that many of my friends were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, which by all (second-hand) accounts is very much an end-of-childhood narrative, a tentative yet inevitable step out of their enchanted world into one more dangerous (you know, romantic rejection, magical death-matches, the usual adolescent bildungsroman). With that backdrop in mind, I guess I was really struck by the coming-of-age nature of most of the students' stories- growing into a more fearless self, manifested into a butchier aesthetic, for my lovely friend Sarah, or literally growing out of a nurturing Indian household, or shaving one's head to symbolically join the circle of bald and highly accomplished men in one's family. Nothing new under the sun to circle back to the coming of age narrative, but as a theme it merged the very specific Brandeis performance with the blockbuster film being watched at that very same moment by my friends.

- I'm starting to get to the bottom of my private fascination with liberal Christianity (as a phenomenon, not a personal path). Frankly I'm a little creeped out by the assumption that I think is at the bottom of said interest. Basically, I'm worried that I assume that anyone who works for social justice typically does so ONLY out of their own experience of injustice or lack of privilege, That is the reason I basically take Jewish liberalism for granted (though of course that's changing) and the reason I essentially see the social justice activism of wealthy, white, educated males like William Sloane Coffin as somehow purer in their motives, purer because it must be more ideological since their sense of injustice is less rooted in personal experience. Part of me feels like, OK, so what? but part of me thinks this is deeply disturbing, because it valorizes people of privilege for transcending their privilege (while probably still benefiting from it) over people who actually suffer from oppression.

- A lot of theatre-going recently for me, which is interesting only because, chicken-or-egg-you-decide, I have some interest in performing in something next semester- Vagina Monologues, maybe, or a play, whatever. I haven't done so since high school, so it's interesting that now I want to get back in the game. I guess the combined effect of Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Tim Miller, both solo show and ensemble work, and something else I can't quite remember is to reignite my interest in performing instead of spectating.

-Wonderful article on C.S. Lewis in this week's New Yorker (see? another liberal Christian figure occupying my fascination).
I think I really like Adam Gopnik.

-Shout out to Becky S! I had a blast with you this week. I wish I knew how to quit YOU! No I don't- you can be the Heath Ledger to my Jake Gyllenhaal anytime.

one Democrat rediscovers his spine, buried under mounds of doughy flesh

um...better late than never, I guess, for criticism of Iraq war rationale, execution, and strategy (or lack thereof) from the likes of Rep John Murtha (D-PA). He said today that the Iraq campaign is "a flawed policy wrapped in illusion" and called for immediate troop withdrawl (I almost typed truth withdrawl, which is in fact what I am going through after 6 years of this administration) after being all gung-ho three years ago.

good thing I have this time machine to take us back to 2002...when plenty of other people forsaw that revelation- oh. right.

But really, the important thing is- damn, that man is jowly. I cannot for the life of me think of the right side-by-side, but oh please please, someone think of the proper pasty, wrinkly, jowly cartoon character with beady dark eyes. Literary characters are easy- he's clearly Drummle, aka Spider, from Great Expectations. But what cartoon character is he??? this will drive me nuts.

for G-d's sake...

conjure for me, if you will, the gustatory nirvana that is fresh guacamole. the buttery, hefty puree of avocado, the piquant citrus juice, the biting salt and cayenne pepper, and perhaps some crisp chunks of red onion or cilantro.

so what is missing from that Platonic ideal of guacamole?

oh, yes, the one ingredient so inessential, so misplaced, that you almost forgot people would include it.
Tomato.

It NEVER belongs in guacamole (if I ran the world, it wouldn't belong in anything, but I'm taking baby steps here).

Amy's tips #1: dealing with awkward academic encounters

There is one invaluable social-graces tool that can almost always be used with great effect in one particular situation:
Trying to announce your departure to a superior (like, say, a professor) who is engaged in other conversation without rudely interrupting. Yes, I speak of the humble "arm touch." A nice upper-arm brush will usually get a turnaround, the moment eye contact is established, breathe a quick "I'm about to go, but I just wanted to say goodbye/thank you/I'll email you [whatever]" and the whole fidgeting-adjacent-to-the-conversation-circle charade is over.

I have passed this wisdom to many a timid undergrad at a department reception. Go forth, and use your power for good.

the one where Amy doesn't rant about feminism or politics

Several close friends know that my poetry workshop has been one of the highlights of my semester and has opened up a wonderful new world of both other people's work and my own (admittedly thin and probably embryonic). Occasionally I will have to indulge in a flight of personal journal fancy, and write up a particularly affecting poem the instant I read it. Hence, Vernacular by Morri Creech:

And when he listened
it was like the wind that rinses the first bird-notes from the larch trees
winnows the pollen from leaf-down
sows witchgrass and thistle
that harrows the surface of the waters
that in summer is the lush fever of mosquitoes and rivershine
and in winter snags the ribs of scattered leaves,
that plays the low notes of the locust wing
and, formless itself, imposes
upon the forms of limestone and hollowed reeds;
that unravels its story
to the acres of fenceline and pasture,
to the sun-cluttered joists and rafters of bankrupt churches,
that in childhood is sweetness
at the tops of sycamores
and in adulthood the rememberance of sweetness
amid the dry sheaves
and the one cardinal's feather splayed in the field,
that swells to a consummate music
and contracts to a held breath
that is balm of the honeysuckle
balm of clover and mint,
that stirs bees from their hives
and wasps from their paper cathedrals
that forges its burnished imprint on the river,
that sculpts an absence
sculpts the one syllable held in the dumb mouths of statues
that raises only its own name
praises its own dust
and hastens towards the silence of its own beginnings.

no, seriously

I was complaining to Dara today about how I felt like such a square now that I've started to feel uncomfortable about saying "bitch" as in "you're doing bitch work" or "you're her bitch." Like, I promised I would never be one of "those" feminists that constantly quibble over semantics (i.e., woman vs. womyn). And though I realize that bitch as a term is gender neutral, it still reinforces ideas about subjugation and inferior labor that were at one time rooted in gender hierarchy, and therefore isn't that funny. So I'm explaining all of this to Dara, and her perfectly deadpan response is "well, you know, most things aren't funny." I crack up, because it's so true- we would be horrified at most of the "funny" things we say were they not in jest. So we've decided that nothing is funny.

Except this, which was our attempt to convey how much we would dominate our Econ test without reinforcing dominant-submissive hierarchies:
"We're gonna rock that test"
"Yeah, rock that test like a cradle."

oh, SHAKIRA

Listen, Shakira: I defended you when all my Anglo friends thought you were a mere Charo reincarnation. I defended you when Laundry Service featured songs that were far beneath your skill and intelligence because you wanted to cross over. I defended you when my roomate said you were anti-Israel and had made comments to that effect on MTV (probably not true).

But this is the last straw. In a profile in today's Times, you come off so intelligent, so cultured, so in control, all those excellent qualities that make you a great singer and a great role model. And then you ruin it all by saying this:

"I don't want to sound like a feminist saying this. But it's true, it's a man's world."

Guess what? You ARE a feminist, you LIVE feminism, given that you've controlled your own production for ten years, that you write songs about women being independent, and about women expressing and pursuing their own sexual pleasure. If you're afraid of the label somehow tainting you as an angry man-hater, I assure you that no one who has seen your videos will ever assume that. Given a golden oppportunity to elevate (or at least not denigrate) the popular view of feminism, you chose to revert to old superficial stereotypes. I'm genuinely sad that you could be that lame. I hope somebody will remember that it is feminism that allows so many amazing women to be who they are and succeed as wildly as they have.

M. and I become one in fashion snark

So tonight at this bar, while appreciating the excellent sounds of Great Day for a Race, I was dumbstruck by a young woman wearing, G-d help me, a CROPPED ribbed mock-turtleneck in a gross pale pink. When I say cropped I mean the shirt stopped about three inches below the breasts, which she chose to pair with jeans that literally skimmed the beginning of her pubic region. The combined effect was exposure of her entire hipbone, including that diagonal muscle where the torso meets the leg, gross, and her abnormally low belly button.

I knew I could count on my flatmate to know EXACTLY what I was talking about in two words. Sweet lord. She and I are in fact becoming the same person, I'm confirming the rumors right now.

Pelvis girl: why, WHY, would you expose the lower abdominals- to quote the Fug Girls, "why would she wear something that exposes the exact ring of skin that every woman wants to conceal?...Even if you're all firm and shit there, it still looks, from afar, like you're prancing around with your muffin top out! " And? did I mention? I really don't want to know the precision level of your bikini wax.

ohio sucks sometimes

So, propositions 2-5 on the Ohio ballot, all intended to reform the way elections are conducted in the fraud-riddled Buckeye state, FAILED yesterday. Frankly, I didn't follow the campaign closely enough to understand why this happened or how close the vote might have been, but I can bet that none of my friends at Kenyon who waited NINE HOURS exactly a year ago to vote at one of the TWO machines at their polling place...yeah, I know none of them voted against the measures. Not that the liberal-arts college students are the barometer you want to use for Ohio as a whole, but SERIOUSLY, who votes AGAINST making voting easier and fairer? Or a panel to examine possible corruption in voting processes? Is this just a matter of "my candidate won, therefore any criticisms about the legitimacy of the vote must be partisan muckraking in disguise"? How pathetic.

It's an off-year, election-wise, and I gotta wonder who these oxymoronic anti-democracy base voters are. Because (and I'm stretching here, perhaps) if these are the old-school conservative people who are bitter about losing their manufacturing jobs who ALSO apparently hold democracy in such distaste, well, I know lots of countries like, say, China, where they can manufacture plenty o'stuff without having to vote at all, or ruin it for the rest of us.

in case you need a chaser

Just a follow-up on that dissertation-length Maureen Dowd post, only on a different topic entirely.
Dominique du Villepin’s recognition that (sacre bleu!) there are racial minorities in france and they might suffer discrimination:

My mom and I were talking several years ago about the whole banning-headscarves thing and my one-line dismissal was “ah, what a typically French way to deal with the problem of minorities and pluralism: just pretend its not there.” After all, we are all French, all the same, egalite, fraternite, who would want to be anyone other than generic European French?

So now, in the exception that proves my point, it is this BFD that the prime minister, after two weeks of rioting acknowledges that perhaps, we might be a bit of a racist society after all. Warning, EU- Turkey is not your biggest challenge on cultural openness and integration. Check your own back yards and see if there might be some structural discrimination against all the colonial brown people you conquered back in the day who are now living in your countries. Because, they are clearly not taking that shit any more.

On this Maureen Dowd thing

First of all, Maureen Dowd and Joan Didion must share a publicist who specializes in getting book excerpts published as cover articles in the New York Times Magazine with simultaneous profiles in New York magazine and other mediagasm landmarks. Note to NYT Magazine: Next time you use your cover as a marketing tool for yet another book that you hack to pieces to fit inside nine pages we are going to have a SERIOUS talk about integrity and exploitation.

To catch everyone up to speed, Maureen Dowd published an excerpt from her book “Are Men Necessary” as the cover article for the NYT Magazine 2 weeks ago. The piece came off as a fluffy, elitist dismissal of feminist gains, saying that men are intimidated by smart women and younger chicks are regressing to become old-school flirts or housewives. It inspired a flurry of irate blog posts and exasperated articles ranging from “post-feminist” Katie Roiphe to Eileen McNamara, along with being in the top five Most Emailed every day since being published. I figured I would let the first-round contenders fight it out over the obvious criticisms and defenses, and wait to see where the more substantive critiques developed.

Well, Rebecca Traister, who is typically a good feminist compass, has published her article, in which she tries her hardest to defend Dowd even while acknowledging the tiring too-clever-by-lots-more-than-a-half nature of Dowd’s writing:

“What she has to say in this book is sometimes crass, often recycled from old columns, intermittently sloppy, consistently over-generalized and rooted too firmly in her own rarefied D.C.-N.Y. corridor of power.”

Yet for Traister, Dowd is asking important questions about singlehood and womanhood and whether a highly successful life full of family, friends, career and passions can be complete without men. I say, you cannot give poor analysis credit for effort, especially when the presentation is so self-destructive.

Sloppy on social research? Check (Barnett and Rivers rock my world). Writing so self-referential it practically preens itself? Check. I couldn’t agree more with the quote “One wishes that, instead of devoting herself to zinginess, to ripostes and one-liners, she would use her threatening intelligence to unearth the deeper complexities of her subject.” And therein lies my ultimate frustration with MoDo.

Maureen. Please. If your writing were sharper, clearer, less inclined to hyperbole and caricature, I would be thrilled to hear your thoughts on upper-class educated white women’s dating practices (hell, I’d take plenty of notes). I would be proud that you were the sole bearer of a double X chromosome on the NYT op-ed page, pathetic as that statistic may be.

If you’re asking if men are necessary, then ASK it, give some thesis, say “this is my life and it is satisfying in such and such way” or “this is my life- as rich as it is, I still need love or a partner” Don’t dance around the question the way your columns dance around everything from saying “President Bush is a liar” to “I fantasize about George Stephanapoulous.”

Dowd defends her playful-like-a-fox style and emphasis on personality over policy in her New York Magazine profile: “I didn’t want to do women’s issues per se, but I did want to look at things through a woman’s eyes.I always thought that criticism was just silly . . . as if it was a girlish thing to be focused on the person.” Michael Kinsley from the Washington Post backs her up, saying “I thought that she would get pegged as a girl and not taken seriously, but she in fact sort of reinvented the column as a form…

(P.S., Ariel Levy, author of said profile? Why is it OK for Maureen Dowd to be sex-positive while the rest of us are Female Chauvinist Pigs? Oh, that’s right, your book is sensationalistic, poorly researched crap.)

Where was I? It’s not enough to bring “a woman’s eyes”, since, for one thing, you cannot essentialize women so casually, but more importantly, why label a woman’s perspective as anti-logic or substance, focusing on what is pejoratively called the “fluff”? Dowd’s whole coquettish “am I or aren’t I?”, “Do I think this? Or not?” schtick makes her a bad spokesperson for the relevance of feminism, since her meta message that we extrapolate from her persona and her writing places women back into the stereotype of imprecise, hyperemotional rambling. You know those women, can’t argue a point, just go on emotion and intuition.

Now if you want to argue to me that Maureen Dowd is the successor to Helene Cixous, pioneering some new epistemological frontier, some new woman’s way of knowing or speaking in a non-linear, non phallogocentric way then bring it, but for now, I call foul: you have no credibility on feminism if you insist on representing women’s work and thought in a prominent public forum as no more than flamboyant pageantry.

about the name

Curious which Bill Nye episode the blog title comes from? Psych! Not a Mr. Wizard term at all but actually excerpted from Nicky Finney’s poem "Jacques Costeau" from The World is Round:

But even at this young age I realize
I am five parts water three parts magnet
and positively electrical
about the things that matter most.

Yeah. I love that.
She's electric! do-do-do-dodoo do doo doo-doo

captain judgmental in the hizzayyy!!

Wow. My very own blog, such an awesome responsibility. Will my verbal dexterity translate to the written word, or am I really destined to be a mere armchair blogger? Is there a better term than armchair something-or-other? because, really, all blogging is done from a chair of some kind. bed. some structure that denotes a lack of manual labor. that's the entire point, really, other than narcissitic self-gratification...

wait..is that captain judgmental, coming to smack the pretentious out of me? Yes, yes it- ow! OK, I'll stop rambling self-conciously (she wrote in her typical meta-commentary fashion)